Wednesday, December 30, 2009

The Pain of My Love

the pain in my heart beats in tyme with my heart beat
my heart speaks in rhyme with the pain of my heart beat

You are out of my heart's reach
but you are stil my heart's beat

you r the centre of the flows
that my heart spills like life giving blood
pumping thru the veins of this page

Cold forged words
Tempered with the heat of love

Cold heat in my blood
confirms my love......
I love you.

A lil sometin for the end of d year....

Qube the Wordsmith '09

before 2009 closes

hey people....

Of course I was gonna do an end of the year post....

Well 2009 has come to an end....it was full of ups and downs.....highs and lows....

I learnt a lot in 2009.

-You might not like d way someone loves you....but it doesn't mean they don't love you...
-I made a mistake been a science student....
-i've met a lot of lovely people over the year....bloggers included. So to these bloggers thanks for making my year rock: Exschoolnerd, Wellsbaba , Charizard, Capoeira Panda, Gozzim,Rayo....
-Family's family...even if they behave like spawns of depraved monsters....
-ladies r the most confusing creatures in this world.....as in...its like....MSCHEWWWW!!!!
-I've totally immersed myself in Naija music.....
-Ref to the family crack....never stop telling them you love them. My friend lost her mum in the early hours of the 22nd...one min she was laughing wiv her,the next they were declaring her dead in the hospital. This is to everyone i should tell this. I'm not perfect.....i make mistakes ....but thank you for loving me anyways. And I love you too.

I think I'll keep the new year resolutions (which I will go about breaking promptly heheheheehe) until we meet in the new year.

This is to you my readers.....May God keep you in His Shadow and protect you. You and yours will know no harm this festive season. We will all meet again in 2010. Thank you for sticking with me this year. Though I nearly closed the blog several times, it was yall that kept me going.

Merry Xmas in arrears and A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Long time

Sori about beem incommunicado for this long. been trying to sort several things out....get my life back on track as such.

-Been at home is a bitch. Ur parents and siblings get on your nerves,d devil builds a workshop in u and everything is just soo bleh...

-Naija's music industry's bin on the up and up for a while now....Out of the four album's i've binwaiting for,3 have so far met my expectations. They are BankyW's The W experience,Omawumi's Wonder Woman and Lami Phillips's Intuition. The jury's still out on 9ice's tradition...I havtat give that one anoda listen. Ur album collection's not complete wivout these albums this Xmas. Go n get em!

-Ok I studied geology but all the offers I keep getting seem to be in the PR/Entertainment circle....hmnn maybe God's tryna tell me something...

-I've finally gotten a blackberry....omo money for BIS ain't beans o....Hustle n Grind time!

-This blog closing bug almost caught me a few weeks back...but NEVER! I ain't closing this! So to ScribbleMeFree, rayo nall odas dat have either abandoned or closed their blogs,here's some strenght!! Yall can do it!!

-Maintaining a double id isn't easy o...Like on twirra for example.I have my real life id and d Qube Id (twitter.com/qubedawordsmith) bt Qube rarely tweets unlike d real me....a tweet a min :)

-Ok I tinki'm done for now...wil get back andpostsomething more substantial real soon folks.

Live.Love.Learn

Saturday, November 7, 2009

He's back...

6pm

He walks in...the scent of vegetable stew wafts gently in the air."Kai this chick go b fine wife for sme lucky bastard some day oh" He muses. Hey wats up? I didn't c u get in. Oya sit down and eat while its still hot.
Lemme get some water..
No no dnt wori i get it fa u
U dnt even lemme do nufink yeah
Hahahaaa go jo. Sit down and eat...

10.30pm

Are you sure u don't mind?
Haba na...abi is there anything on ur mind *mischevious smile*
U r drunk init?
Hahahaha look u can't sleep on d ground oh.If you catch a cold now I'll havta explain to ur Mom n all
Am I a small boi?
Ha u r stil ur mom's boi na
*throws pillow* if i break ya head eh....

1.30am

He wakes up to find she has snuggled in2 his arms. the night had turned cold.....while trying to extract himself,she woke up. Conversation ensured as both of them couldn't sleep. She talked,he listened....about her recent relationship and how the dude didn't appreciate her...taking her virginity and breaking up with her after just 10 months of them going out. His excuse? They weren't compatabile. Her soft skin rubbed against his arms as she snuggled closer....and abruptly started crying.He drew her close and started petting her.....suddenly her lips found his.Hard and furious. His suprise lasted a moment,and he pulled her away to ask what the hell she thought she was doing when she straddled him and her lips found the sweet spot behind his ears.....
The nite was crazy after that...His tshirt flew off quickly.Her silk nightie felt so GOOD on his skin....She moaned softly as he took first left den right nipple in his mouth and flicked his tounge ova them slowly...Den she bucked as his finger sought and found her clit....Flickin back and forth made her wet in seconds...He smiled as her moaning increased and she asked if he wanted to kill her....My dear he thot,ur death is stil soo far away...

8.30am

he woke first. The memories of last nite still fresh in his memory.....He smiled wen he remembered the face she made as his tounge and fingers worked their magic between her legs. Dang she looked so SEXY curled on his chest,hair all mussed up...she murmured as he shifted,tellin him to go bck to sleep it was too early....then clod reality smacked him in d face...
"get up" He said,an uncreatin look on his face....She looked at him and said "why won't I like what you are going to say?"
"Of course you won't like it"he replied,"Seeing as we are cousins,what the hell were we thinking??"

Hi folks.....been a long minute. Lots been happening ta me....bin bored most but sme tins sha...when i gather me thots coherently I'll spill.

oh yeah the story's inspiried by real events...not me oh!Even Que's not that bad(I wouldn't say dat) Don't listen to him,he's an idiot....
Later folks!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Yet anoda one

Hey pple.

So I watched the Uugly truth today.....freakin hilarious film! Yall need to check it out.

Some chic n I have bin flirting back and forth ova the fone...See we had something back in skool but it didn't really work out and we stayed friends.That was until she wanted to be friends with benefits. now I(well Que) has nutin against been friends with benefits but there's a list of problems
1. She had a BF that i know
2. She's emotionally unstable and will want us to take it serious
3. She doesn't like using condoms
You see,the first 2 are bad enuff but no CONDOMS?? WTF?? and she has told me about 2 guys she has nailed after she broke up wiv her BF......

NOT HAPPENING!!!! After i just got over a HIV test scare earlier in the year.I am not carrying load dat is not my own abeg...She even gives the stupid exscuse that the condom chafes her...LUBE BABY! LUBE!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moving on...

NYSC's ova...After one day of joblessness I came to this conclusion...IT SUCKS! Ur boi needs a job!
Ok i'm done..imma hola at yall later! One

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Random musings.....

Hey my people wats good?

Sori I've been MIA for so long.

Been going thru a lot lately...I'm about to finish my servitude (aka NYSC) so I'm looking at the rest of my life and I'm scared. Why? Bcos i don't have a clue what i want to do.

It was cute when i was 17 but men I'm almost 25 now...not knowing is a bitch.

its not just that.My emotions have been in a mess lately.its affecting every aspect of my life. i've become lethargic to a lot of things(hence the absence from blogsville). its like all i wanna do is jst exist and nothing more....

Even concerning women....yeah I know I'm shocked too. And all of a sudden evryone starts asking where my girlfriend is and when i'm gonna get one n ohhh u aren't getting younger oh u nid to stop faffing around n settle down n all dat. So much foofaraw ova nufink....

Is it ok for a dude to like Beyonce's nu album so much? Cos i'm addicted to it..Esp Sweet dreams,Radio,Hello(dats my slow jam for life!)...Even that annoying song Diva's stuck in ma head..
Sori my update sounds whiny....I'll post something more constructive lerra

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Bloggers leaving

I'm breakin my block induced silence to scream this...

ANY OTHER BLOGGER WHO EVEN DREAMS ABOUT DREAMING ABOUT LEAVING WILL GET A VISIT FROM ME AND MY LIL FREN!!!!!

Please and Thank you. Forgive my long silence but Scribblemefree's attempt to go is wat caused this outburst. Bruv don't you dare! I will fight this block and post ASAP. Scout's honour. I love yall.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Short one...

I rily don't have much to say oh....

Called Miss Lowlah yesterday. Apparently she's in d country n she sent my her number.

This post is dedicated to ur voice Miss Lowlah...

The mix of British accent and cuteness? EXTREMELY SEXY!! YEE!! AAAHHH!!! WOOOOOW!
*HEAD EXPLODING*

Sunday, August 2, 2009

I can write the saddest lines tonight.

Thanks to Leggy, I have discovered this wonderful poet calld Pablo Neruda.....the dude rocks!! Here's one of his poems..


I can write the saddest lines tonight.

Write for example: ‘The night is fractured
and they shiver, blue, those stars, in the distance’

The night wind turns in the sky and sings.
I can write the saddest lines tonight.
I loved her, sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like these I held her in my arms.
I kissed her greatly under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could I not have loved her huge, still eyes.

I can write the saddest lines tonight.
To think I don’t have her, to feel I have lost her.

Hear the vast night, vaster without her.
Lines fall on the soul like dew on the grass.

What does it matter that I couldn’t keep her.
The night is fractured and she is not with me.

That is all. Someone sings far off. Far off,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

As though to reach her, my sight looks for her.
My heart looks for her: she is not with me


The same night whitens, in the same branches.
We, from that time, we are not the same.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the breeze to reach her.

Another’s kisses on her, like my kisses.
Her voice, her bright body, infinite eyes.

I don’t love her, that’s certain, but perhaps I love her.
Love is brief: forgetting lasts so long.

Since, on these nights, I held her in my arms,
my soul is not content to have lost her.

Though this is the last pain she will make me suffer,
and these are the last lines I will write for her.

Friday, July 31, 2009

On friendships and pranks

Wow!! this is my 60th post....never thot I'd reach 60 mayne....

Ok so I've wanted to post for a very long min but dunno why when ever I start i just freeze up....ugh so annoying....

So this post is abt wats bin happenin recently...which is 3 things....ok 4...ok fine i'm too warped to have just 4 tins happenin so just readon yeah....

-Bin listening to a lot of music lately....esp soul n stuff...I'm cravin some MusicSoulchild rite abt nw...
-I pulled a prank on sme chic that's bin houndin me...c in ma hood there's this rumour that I have a wife in jand waitin for me....dunno where dat one came from. So apparently sme pple hav bin callin dis chic n tellin her she shuld b careful with me n stuff.nw you wuld havta b really stupid to believe I have a wife abroad but she kips askin me ova n ova again. So one day I set her up....Hav this friend that grew up in Jand so I asked her to call d girl up and tell her to leave me alone in her strongest british accent...the girl hasn't spoken to me in 2 weeks...ROTFLMAO..
-Was talkin wiv Exschoolnerd the oda day n I realized I'm tired of having friends with benefits...the benefits notwithstanding i wuld love to have a steady relationship with someone I'm crazy in love with...not just a booty redial...
-I'm bored with life right now....
-Someone said the only part of my humour I have left is the perverse side....
-Twitter is now myy no 1 addiction...havent created a Qube account yet but i'm on FB no..just search for Qube TheWordsmith...
Ok that's done...there IS a girl in ma sights..but she's giving me the whole "I c u as a brother" bullcrap...I hate it wen girls say that crap...neways will update yall when she's within my many layered trap...MWAHAHAHAHAHA...ok I'm calm now...Later blogsville!

Sunday, July 26, 2009

On relationships...

Found this while surfin n thot it would b nice ta share it

1. Love is a decision which precedes how you feel, so act on love not feelings.

2. To get who you want, you must first be who you want.

3. Dont find love in the wrong places, be exactly where you wish to find a partner.

4. Getting physically intimate in a relationship beclouds your judgment and automatically disables your thinking faculty from judging the person rightly, leading to quick marriages and quicker divorces.

5. The love languages we speak differ from each other, learning your partners own helps you to understand them and speaking it helps you love him/her better.

6. Men love respect and women love security, women respect your guy, men protect your girl.

7. Money is important in a relationship, not necessarily alot of it, but enuf to keep your relationship going and the love burning, let lack of money have a genuine reason.

8. Sharing same ideas and points of view at the beginning of a relationship may be at first fascinating, but soon your partner wud look for a 'you' that has ur own ideas, so build yourself, your mind and your knowledge so that you can have some thing to offer when the time comes.

9. A woman was made after a man because he needed help, she was only put in a weaker vessle, it doesnt mean shes weaker, harness the strength God put in your woman today becos she is the one who carries in her the next step for you to take to actualize your success in life, and women, you werent created to stress your man, the Prov 31 package was made for you as your manual, dats why men dont have theirs.


10. Finally, wat ever name you call your woman is exactly wat you are becos, you are the raw material her finished product was made from and women, watever name you call your man is exactly wat you are, just that you are a finished version, so, be careful wat you say!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Random Thots ...

-Work has become extremely boring.....reset server....reset print spooler......reset browsing settings.....reset SMTP for mail....seduce receptionist to no avail.....go home...do it again...
-Does anyone knw where I can get a fairly used AK47?Wanna tk it to work and see what happenes....
-Ok girls hav bin real wierd around me this wk.One called me metrosexual,anoda said she stil loved me(I wasn't aware u did in the first place) and yet anoda accused me of having a wife abroad..
-i miss my office crush lik mad!! She has finisherd her service n she didn't wanna stay back in d company....Come bck to me...*sobbing*
-I finally broke my celibacy.....to get revenge on d chic dat started it in d first place.....More details in nxt note.
-Since breaking said celibacy I've bin annoyingly horny.....as in...its like...you knw.....CRAZY!!!
-Am currently in lust wiv d receptionist @ work;her hips n lips don't lie!!!
-I'm officially twitter crazy...Its eating in2 my pocket cos I use my fone to twit most of the time..
-Djinee's album is MAHD!!! U shuld cop it if u r in naija..
-I need nu games for d lappie @ home. Suggestions pls....
-Was in d bus one day wen one female traffic warden started winkin @ me....Ewwwwww...erm sori I don't date across species thank u...
-Lade by Djinee feat MI is d song....After Strong Tin by Banky W of course....Whao dat is my official baby-makin song of d year...if you and a willing partner r listenin to Strong Tin the chance that some shaggin wil take place is VERY high...
-God pls give me d patience not to do smetin stupid this wk....
-Does anyone knw where I can learn gan-gan (talking drum)?
-Need to go out more...
-Bin lusting afta some bloggers...ok a particular blogger...nid to stop >:))
Ok I'm done! whew my mind's empty....

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Annie are u ok?




This is my fav MJ vid of all time....

Monday, June 29, 2009

happy blog birthday

Yay! My blog is ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow I actually blogged for a year....u r wondring y I'm suprisd? well I'm a restless person by nature...if something isn't so gripping I lose my interest in it after a while....that's prob y I don't hav a girl yet...

Neways it means yall(blogsville) hav captured my imagination enuff for me to stay a full year here.Fine I'm not the most frequent updater,but I try :))

So here's to me...and to the various unique characters I've met here. I don't wanna list names cause I'll forget someone n then be in trouble.....TO ALL YALL THANKS FOR MAKING THIS YEAR MEMORABLE....

Aii that's all go back to work!!!!!

Sunday, June 21, 2009

How it started

Hmnn....aaah...ohh yeah...
U like it?
Yeah don't stop....
aaahhh...hmmnnnn....oh shit....
*laughin*
oh shit oh shit OH SHIT!!!
U came?
No I was supposed to give someone smetin...
Dats y u stopped?
Look just do n fuck me and cum already...
WHAT??
do N ..
i HEARD D FIRST TIME
Baby? where u goin? Cme back now.....look I'm still wet for u...
Not happening...do I look lik a dildo to u?
I jst wanted u to cum so I can
Sori only pple I knw dat do dat r prostitutes...

Dats hw I started bin celibate...

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Mad harmony....




watch out for the "dangerously in love" part @ 1.30....the parting there killed me...
These dudes r heading to d top......FIYA!!!!!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Repackage your skills to get a leg up on the competition in today’s market

“There’s a common misconception that if you lose your job today, you won’t be able to find another one,” said Rosemary Haefner, vice president of human resources at CareerBuilder. “That’s not true. According to a recent CareerBuilder survey, 41 percent of workers who were laid off from full-time jobs earlier this year found new full-time, permanent positions and another eight percent found part-time work. The key is learning how to repackage your skills to appeal to a broader range of employers.”

So, how do you land a job when there’s still so much competition out there?

1. Make yourself transferable:
Thirty-eight percent of workers who were laid off in the last year and landed new positions said they found work in a different field from where they were previously employed.
Look at a variety of job postings to see how your skills measure up to job requirements. Write different versions of your resume to appeal to different employers. Keep in mind that skills in communications, project management, leadership, etc. are universal across industries.

2. Stock your resume with keywords:
Many employers use electronic scanners to rank the job applications they receive. Make sure to include keywords from the employer’s job posting in your resume and cover letter, so your application is ranked toward the top of the pile.

3. Jump off the page:
Thirty-nine percent of human resource managers report they take 30 seconds or less reviewing a resume at first glance. Grab their attention. Include a career summary at the top that gives a quick snapshot of skills and accomplishments. It’s also important to include quantifiable results whenever possible in your resume, using bullets to highlight them.

4. Relentlessly use social media:
Promote your personal brand, skills and strengths on different social networking sites so you can reach the widest and most diverse audience of networking contacts and potential employers.

5. Clean up digital dirt:
Thirty-eight percent of employers said, if they were interviewing someone for a job, they would look the candidate up on social networking sites. Scrub social networking profiles, blogs and personal Web sites to ensure you convey a professional image to employers.

6. Don’t dwell on the negative:
If you were laid off from a job, don’t focus on the difficulty of the experience during the interview. Focus on what you learned and how it helped you to grow personally and professionally. Talk about things you did to add to your skills such as taking a class, volunteering, reading business books, etc.

7. Come to the interview prepared and ask good questions:
Spend time researching the company’s Web site, look at recent press releases and how they position their products and work experience. Make sure to ask good questions about the company’s growth potential, competitive threats and how they envision your role specifically contributing to the success of the organization.

8. Stand out with ideas:
A great way to stand out is to show the employer you’re already thinking like an employee. If you’re applying for a marketing job, propose three ideas for marketing campaigns the company can run. If you’re applying for an operations job, offer up ideas for increasing efficiencies or cutting costs.

9. College grads: Give yourself credit:
For recent college graduates, you probably have more experience than you’re giving yourself credit for in your resume. Employers consider volunteer work, class work, participation in sports and managing activities for a sorority/fraternity to qualify as relevant experience in addition to internships and part-time jobs. Include all these activities on your resume and relate them to the position at hand.

10. Consider going back to the classroom:
Twenty-one percent of workers are going back to school to make themselves more marketable to employers. Consider whether you would benefit from taking a course or enrolling in a formal program.

Culled From MSNBC.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep

Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep by Mary Elizabeth Frye (1905 - 2004)


Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and weep.
I am not there, I do not sleep.
(Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die!)


RIP GranPa.....U wil b missed.......

Monday, June 8, 2009

Her....

I log in
Scroll and check for her
her lime eyes draw me in
Fuelin dis addiction...
her words...jump off dis pages lik a duelist's bullet
piercin...driving....
I know it futile..I shouldn't b doing this
I stil need mending....fixin....
But i can help it....girls dat write capture my heart instantly..
Oh dear...
I tink I have a crush on a poet....

Friday, June 5, 2009

Girls r wierd part 2

Well pple wat d do? I'm back wiv ze part two of this story...LGT b4 I get distracted...

so neways the koko of the story was that she was pushing her BF away...He was evrytin u culd want in a guy...loves her to death...but she was runnin.
her prob was she was alien to the idea dat a guy could love her....she's a tomboy n most of d time hangs out wiv fellas whoc her as one of d guys...so a guy dat wanted her for more dan her body freaked her out. She called me cos we had a thing back in d day n I was d first person (according to her) that mad her feel female...So I ended up giving her advice on how to overcome d fear and enjoy the love n all that..then I kicked her off my fone n proceeded to go back to bed.......

10am the next day...
hello
hey babes wats up?
Am good n u?
Fine
Did u gt to work late
Yup;I overslept
Sori....didn't mean to kip u up dat late...
No biggie...have u talked to him?
Yeah...once he gets to skool we'll sort things out proper...
Narly....Glad I culd be of help...
U can still be...
Hw?
By sleeping wiv me(ok she said fuckin bt ugh so vulgar)
LOL stop abeg
Fo real
R u kiddin?
Wen I wanted to i was scared...nw dat I'm not and we have both matured sexually,I wanna have u
babe u r SOOO not serious...
I'm dead serious o...I can imajin us 2geda nw...EXPLOSIVE.....

Jesus tk d WHEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

girls r wierd as hell....*Long post*

HEY beautiful pple wats d P? Well I knw I said I'd talk abt the Jump off but I got this wierd call lik 2 days ago during midnite call.....was from this girl I had a thing for n with back wen I was in skool...erm u'll understand beta wen u read......



hi
wat's up
u sound grouchy
well u just woke me up @ 12.45am so..
Am sori...I'll cut now...
No no,its ok*yawns* u prob hav a good reason....hw u bin?
Fine n u?
Bored.
Lol...so any nu girl in ur life?
Nah
Hmnn wen last did u strafe?
January
*laughin hard* yeee why na?U lost ur MOJO or smefink?
Nah long stori...just decided to free sex for a while...hw's d BF?
Fine fine...he's not wiv me rite now
Guessed as much
*cuts in* i miss u
Miss u too hun...home's crazy n borin eh..
I miss ur kisses
*Silence* ermm Hw IS ur BF?
good se...
Nothing goin on btw u two?
Nah we cool.He loves me so mch it scares me at times....i miss d way u used to give me head
WHAO!!! Okkkkk,wats goin on Chief?
Nutin na...can't I reminisce?
Abi chairman ain't performin ni?
Lol u r a goat..He's lik u but wiv experience...
Wateva hun...r u sure u r ok?
Qube talk dirty to me....
WAT?
Talk dirty to me Qube...
Chief erm wat d do? Wat gwan hia?
Pls just do it (moaning sounds in background)
erm ok..erm...
*next 3 mins r filled wiv smut talk n heavy breathing from her end*
uhnn..yeah...AAAAAHHHH....dang...
Okkkkk...r u done?
Yeah babe thanks...
Chief r u ok? As in...
Y do u kip askin me dat?
Well considerin d fact dat u just came while wankin to my smut talk n u DO hav a BF...talk to me...
*suddenly sounds of crying fill my ears* I'm doin it again....

Jesus take d wheel!!!!Watch out for part 2...

Monday, June 1, 2009

scared of love

Why am I scared?
This is a question that continues to bug me time after

time....wat am i scared of?
Hw come i can walk up to anybody n start a conversation

yet I can’t chase a girl? Why is it i can encourage a

friend to go after the girl of his dreams yet i can’t

seem to pluck up d courage to look for mine? How come

drag-racing on a busy street excites me but I can’t seem

to let go of YOU?
Heard a song today by Jasmine Sullivan called why am i

scared of love?..She says
“why am i not scared of lions n bears but scared of

love?”...Was like she was talking to me....
I look at ur pic evry time n wish u were near me...but

I’m so scared of pulling you in2 the emotional mess

that’s my world....scared of pushing u away wiv my wants

n desires....see I wanna be good but i’m not just in

that place yet...i’ll prob ask for sex n you’ll say

no...den I’d either lock up or go out on you...I’d

rather shoot my leg than hurt you.....
Today my HOD said i shuld start praying towards

marriage....dat too many girls @ work were floating

around me....Me wey no get money,car,nufink......i no

know wetin dem they find for hia o....
Whenever I read charis&buttercup’s blog I’m always

jealous....see they r FUCKING made for each other.....I

must attend dat wedding.....
I want a love dat will screw me smetin bad (but in a

good way)...
Want to b able to watch her sleep n not get bored.....
Want her to b d only person dat I can think of in a

romantic way...
That wen I tink of her my brain implodes from d

intensity of the feelings I have...she’d only have to

kiss me wen I’m down n everything would be all

right....I’m asking for too much abi? Well that’s just

hw I feel.....DAMN I’M SCARED OF LOVE!!!!
Chei my ex did a number on me init?

PS: Found out the true identities of a couple of

bloggers ova the weekend...needless to say i was shocked

beyond words.....So you are .........,n u r.........,AND

U!!!o my days!!!! Lmao of course I ain’t gonna reveal

dem na...but I know........MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHOk

I’m calm now.

Friday, May 22, 2009

The conclusion

So I'm back again lik P-square......lol...

So she's crying and am petting her...looking lost lik WTF is wrong wiv dis chic? Y d hell is she crying? So we is cuddling n shit....only sounds r her sniffing n calming down...she looks at me wiv d strangest light in her eyes n says "its bin too long...I starved myself bcos i thot I loved him...we said we wuld kip it until marraige...den he goes n sleeps wiv my best friend..." The "HE" in question is my cuzin...see they were going out for abt 2 years until she caught him with her best friend...they stopped having sex hafta d first yr cos they were on this i-will-marry-u bullshit...i told her time n time again u no fit marry dis dude but did she listen to me? NOOOOOO. Neways the long n short of it was I had made her feel like a woman again wiv d orgasm...made her feel alive....
We talk a little after that n drift off to slip...I wake around 3am to the fan blowing cool air on me(NEPA restored power) and soft lips walking up and down MrQube.....she notices I'm awake and give MrQ one final lick b4 pushin herself up and kissing me full on d lips...dang rememberin dat kiss and the smoldering look in her eyes makes me brain tingle....den she straddles me n positions MrQube so his head is just parting her VRY wett lips..."Now" she said, "I get to pay u back.....forget abt sleep again tonite.....cause u r gonna b feelin like a used rag in d morning...."
By morning we had done it on d floor,wall,door,table,chair......I was so sore but so satisfied....

So that's hw dis maga started whoring....watch out for d next installment..."The Jump-Off"...

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Interlude: breathless

Hey people,wat d do? Hope you guys hav bin enjoyin Que exposing all me bad doings...menawhile I saw this on The PussyChats blog n its so beautiful....its erotic yeah but in a sensual way like slow dancing under a full moon...enjoy!!

Breathless

pulse--
steady....

upon my bed
her rose in bloom

and what do you do with a
rose?

you...
inhale...
marvel at it's
many folds...
gently brush your lips against it
teasingly...
teasingly...

pulse--
racing...

upon my bed
her fountain awaits

and how do you drink from
a fountain?

lips placed gently inside...
to taste god's sweet nectar
with
quivering tongue

slowly...
slowly...

pulse--
frantic....

upon my bed
her river overflows

and how do you ride a
river?

enter ever so gently...
stroke where the currents
flow...

deeper...
deeper...

pulse--
explodes...

Monday, May 18, 2009

Que on: Escapades part 2

Yeeeee its bin a long min init? well back to d story...
So here I am...looking stunned...MrQube(yeah that's wat i call him...no miniQube or such cute names for my hammer of doom....lol) is standing at military attention....its was evening and the temperature had dropped so her body was feeling rily nice on top of mine....apperently she made up my mind for me cos next tin my jeans flew off followed by my boxers.....den her towel n last her bra dissappered...she started nuzzling my sweet spot just below my ears while whispering what she wanted me to do to her in a slow husky voice. My brain had stopped processing rational thot and my nerves where a mess,but i didn’t get rily fuucked up until I felt her mouth go down on me....dang that girl can lick it like a lollipop....lol forgive the pun.....ok so she goes @ it with enthusiasm.... Until I get enuff of a grip on meself to push her away.”look u know this ain’t right.” ‘why” “Cos of him...u know i can’t do this” “sugar we broke up 6 months ago....and I was celibate the whole time I was with him....n I’ve bin celibate until this moment..” “But....” “look if i hear one more but outta u dat is along the lines of bring ur butt here lemme fuck u i will start screaming rape at the top of my voice....u know i’m not bluffing so come here,put on this condom and service me!!” the tension broke @ dat...the whole service me crack was too funny to bear....we laughed for abt 5 mins non-stop den she looked @ me n said n dis seductive/domineering voice “come here luv....lemme take care of u all nite....”.Ur boi needed no other cue man. I laid her flat n started my head game.....tongue flickin back n forth ova swollen lips n clit....she a hot mess fom all d sensations washing ova her brain....the shuddering that preceedded one of the most intense orgasms i’ve ever seen a woman have. Lasted lik 2 minutes. Den she started crying....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Que on:My Escapades Pt 1

Yes its ur boi Que n not dat twit *I heard dat* comin at you live n direct..
So who should I blog abt today....Ok we'll start from the chic that taught me how to give women head....
She was abt 5'5 with light brown eyes and the prettiset smile...used to wear glasses on and off...We used to joke n tell her she didn't really need em else she'd wear em...Neways we hit it off like fire to gunpowder from the get-go....flirting and teasing shamelessly like tomorrow would neva come...see Qube was recovering from his break-up with his ex n he saw it fit to let me take over for a bit...smart move.
Ok so she had this rily wierd habit...whenever I was in her room in skool n she had just had her bath she'd start applying body cream in front of me....wiv a VERY short towel on.And she knew I loved her skin cos it was so clear n spotless...
So dis fateful day I go ova to her place.I was or rather the twit *
I HEARD DAT!!!* WAS UPSET COS HE JUST HAD A RUN IN WITH THE EX...VERY nasty i can tell u...so she noticed and asked what was wrong and we got talkin and stuff..... she calmed me down and cooked for me(if u know me u'd know dat homecooked food ALWAYS CALMS ME!!). So she's like she's hot (as per Naija na...Nepa=no lite) n she'd like to take a shower...wuld I like to join her? I throw a book @ her n tell her to go shower jo...b temptin vunerable boi lik me...
I'm lyin on her bed wit my shirt off but my uundervest stil on....haba I was stil doing mr nice na...so she's done n proceeds to cream that heavenly body of hers...36Ds..ass u could bounce...wow I'm getting hot remembering her....I open my eyes n she's just gotten to her chest...my eyes could not move again...d devil child notices me looking n proceeds to rub it in closer n closer to the hem of her towel like she's oblivious to anything but what she's doing...wen I finally rememba to breathe she bursts in2 Laughter..."fewlish boi why u no comot ur eye since eh? Abi u wan see am *cupping her boobs n emphasisin d cleavage*
"U r just evil..."
"hahahahhaaaa....nehehehehehehehe.....agro don finish ur existence eh? Oya come touch...."
I shook my head while she cackled lik d evil chylde she is.....Covering my eyes wiv my face towel i procedded to get all images outta my head n control my hard-on...Suddenly I felt a soft weight across my pelvis...a hand pulled away d face towel revealing her in a bra n her towel...she leaned forward n said "U watching me me.......hot......" She moves and suddenly a warm tongue is tracing up and down the side of my neck.Now this girl's just bin mean here bcos prior to that day we had bin talkin about
gbenshing and I told her my weak spot was my ears n the sides of my neck....As my mind began to shut down and as I struggled to comprehend what the FUCK was goin on she said "Wat are u gonna do abt it? Cos I'm fucking wet and you caused it. think carefully because you might be a rape victim soon......"
Pheww...that was harder than I thought....will finiish up later....Oh yeah b4 i forget the twit is
SPRUNG *I AM NOT!!!* Oh yes u are *Will u shut up abt me bin sprung* Y u dey deny am? She's lovely na *Just shut up* And her titties r soooo perky *SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!* Maybe I'll finally get some...oh her cute butt will b nice to bounce *THAT'S IT!!!!* *lounges @ Que and the two go rolling away in a flurry of fists n kicks......*

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Techie meme

  1. NAME:Qube
  2. MAC or PC? PC
  3. WHY?Cos there isn't sufficient support for Mac in naija;the parts r bloody expensive!!
  4. PROFESSION IT Support/PR n Events
  5. M/F: Male
  6. WHAT DO YOU USE YOUR MAC/PC FOR THE MOST? IT related stuff; Photography; Gaming
  7. WOULD YOU CHANGE?: Neva!!
  8. TAG 3 PEOPLE: Miss Lowlah, Rambling 9ija chic and Buttercup

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A lil joke and introducing Que.....

I've had writers block for a while so I saw this n thot I shuld share...will be back wiv a proper post soon....I'll even introduce y'all to my alter ego...hey*gets pushed off chair*

Yo its ur boi Que...no not Qube, Que(pronounced Q) his other side......Don't mind d yeye boi*applyin a kick to Qube's exterior for emphasis*...He wants me to go on permanent vacation....something about following God more n all dat....mschewwwwww neways I'll be writing about his escapades esp wiv d opposite sex a la Roc n Scribbles. So watch out for dat...wait he's saying sometin....ok he wants yall to vote; wuld you like me to pour out his nauti doings on these pristine pages or not? Voting starts now........meanawhile here's a lil joke for ya.....

Eddie wanted desperately 2 have sex with this really cute, hot girl in his office, but she was datin some1 else. 1 day Eddie got so frustrated dat he went 2 her & said, "ill give u $100 if u let me have sex with u" The girl looked at him n then said, "NO!" Eddie said, "ill b real fast. ill throw the money on the floor, u bend down & ill finish by the time uve picked it up." She thought 4 a moment & said that she would consult with her boyfriend, so she called him n explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, n pick up the money really fast, he wont even b able 2 get his pants down." She agreed n accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by n the boyfriend is still waitin 4 his girlfriends call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, "what happened?" Still breathin hard, she managed 2 reply, "The fucker had all quarters!"

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Honesty

Was tagged by Mis Lowlah..so here goes sweerie :)
1.I have 2 personalities....N we talk to each other all d time...
2.I wish I was not as fat as I am. Contrary to popular belief I'm not hapi wiv d way I look.
3.I LOVE meeting new people...
4.I'm so SANGUINE its unbelievable...can't seem to turn it off.
5.Back in uni I was in a dance group...actually bcme popular bcos of it.
6.I love art in all its forms but i esp like photgraphy, music and dance.
7.I've bin a ManUtd fan since 1994.I knw sme1 who's bin a fan since 1974...
8.I'm gonna hav one of d biggest personal libraries in d world...
9.I'm so nice it sickens me atimes...
10. I don't drink or smoke. I don't womanise...........dat much....as in a lil sha......lol
11.Most people dat knw me dnt knw I'm capable of so many vile n detestable tins;I knw hw to b manipulative n utterly evil...its my alter ego not rily me.God help me
12. Bros J is ma Homeboy. I strive to b like Him everyday.
13. I want to be unbelivably rich wen I grow older so I can b an anonymous philantrophist
14. I'm a FBholic...its rily so bad...
15. I'm scared of gettin close to girls cos I usually end up havin silly crushes.
16. I wanted to join d Navy but Popsie said no.
17. I will visit all d continents n major countries in dis world b4 I log out.
18. I'm family crazy! I love meeting nu cousins;in uni I meet abt 7 of em.
19.I really need to move out of my father's house :(
20. I want to own my own events company someday. Dat n go bungee jumpin, scuba divin, sky divin, walk d Aapalachain trail, c Everest, produce a hit song, act in a movie, n a bunch of other excitin stuff I can't remember now...
21.I love helping people.Just wonder hw I can turn dat in2 a career
22.I'm voluptrous by nature.
23.I'm scared i won't b a good father to my future children
24.I love PARTYING!!! But my floks are strict so I didn't get to do much growin up
25. I'm THRU!!Men dis tin is harder dan it looks.I tink I'll go find sme1 to torture nw....
Ok dis is d lil more
I'm obsessed wiv military hardware n martial arts
I need to start writing more...
I was born thru caeseran bcos me head was too big..
Wanna have a threesome wiv 2 bisexuals......neheehehehe yeah I know am a freak....
If I rememba more I'll post em....

Friday, April 17, 2009

Exhale...woosaa....

Bin gone for a long while....am sori tis not like i wanted to...while I was ruminating on what to write I hav bin blog stalkin n stuff...interestin stuff has bin happenin...scribble.me.free has upped n gotten sprung while Mocha's trying not to get her freak on...lol

Well what has been happening to me? hmnn.. I've bin struggling wiv OH MA LAWD!!! HE JUST STUCK HIS HAND THRU THAT GUY'S HEAD!! JESUS!!!
Sori abt that, I was watchin a horror film...nw where was I? Oh yelz....

Its a little letter I've been running thru my head...actually a series of letters to different people...stating different things....basically unburdening myself and trying to make sense of situations btw me and said person/entity...so this one's to God..

Baba G,
I know its bin a while....i've just bin trying to find the rite words. I know dats also not an exscuse...after all You are supposed to be my best friend n all. But i seem to hurt the ones that care about me the most; U haven't been any exception.
I have strayed from U Baba....its no news.....this i wuld neva do before I have done.......Hmnn suffices to say i've been a very bad boy.
i guess it all started when my heart grew cold......no its not d cold of winter but the dark cold of NOTHING...imajin hw NOTHING feels,,,yeah dat cold.....Baba G I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING.....NOT ANGER...HATE...JOY....SWEETNESS....LOVE...........NUFINK......
Silly child I imajin u say..hw can u not feel anyhting...if u don't feel love hw can u not relate wiv Me...
I know God, but its wat I feel...or rather don't....its disturbin to say the least. Wen I say i love u to anyone,i dont feel it.Even if that person is my blood......last week my dad travelled home for 5 days.I didn't call him until he did on the fourth day n asked if we were fighting; even wen I am doing something bad like strafing a girl's life, I don't feel anything. At least den i shuld feel lust or smetin but nufink. God, what's happening? Is dis hw vampires feel?
And hw can I say I love u when I don't feel love? I go thru the day and all the necessary motions but deep inside is this ...darkness..no BLACKNESS.....it eats evry emotion that i throw @ it...its insatiable......i'm on my bed nw, folding within myself and tryin to find a shred of what I used to be.....a spark.....somthing...before the blackness eats it all up. God hw can I ask for ur help when i can't find dat inner voice dat I use to speak to U? Me thinks the darkness has it. And I'm scared of searchin for it cos I don't want to b swallowed by the blackness....Help me Lord.....pls....I miss You and can't go on living like this....pls........

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wats poppin? I know its bin a long minute....My mind's bin kinda heavy but yet I can't seem to unburden it. I'm confused on so many fronts and everything's so damn blurry......

Saw this on facebook n thot it wuld b nice ta share it wiv yall....wen I hav arranged my thots I put up a proper post..

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care about in life are sometimes taken from you far too soon

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Its my birthday!!!!!!!!!!

Today's my day....

I'm here chattin wiv a old crush and reflectin on my life so far.......

The UPS
The DOWNS
The HIGHS and LOWS

And all I can say is thank u God....

Even though sometimes I turn my back on u...U neva leave me...
Even though I behave lik a bastard sometimes u surround me wiv friends who love me...
Even though I act lik am souless smetimes U gave me a family that cares.....
Even wen I mess up U giv me chance after chance......

DAMN

Who fit love me reach u Baba? THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Randomness/Honesty

Hi blogsville, wats crackin? So my mind has bin heavy these past few weeks....dunno why.
So I decided to do smetin I used to do wen I was stil in high skool......write random thots done to empty my mind....this post may not b coherent or make much sense but here goes...

-I decided to join the band wagon n take a vow of celibacy.......Told XSN abt it n she goes "Shebi u want to go to Lag for ur masters? Wonder hw long ur vow wil hold there?" Silly child....

-D devil's smetin else. Wen I said I wanna b celibate dats wen one of my colleagues @ work takes it upon herslf to tell me everyday a nu hidin place where one culd hav a quick shag in the office.....anoda on wants me to download d karma sutra for her.......the recepcionist wants me to teach her hw to seduce n control wiv d eyes..... God pls help me oooh...

-I used to b able to wrap my soul around my mind n giv it wings..... back in uni I'd just sit lookin at a blank piece of paper n start writing wat came to my mind...like some Issac Mendez type shit...now I struggle to do it

-I fig out why though...I'm cut off from my emotions....I can't feel anymore....This hasa also affected my relationship wiv people but most esp my relationship wiv God......Baba G u knw I wanna talk wiv u but wat do I say? Hw do I say it?

-i knw one day soon I'll reconnect wiv my feelings...N I hav dis funi feeling it wil b in church n I wil b cryin my heart out....

-Ok wat is up wiv dis? Devil get behind me!!!!

-I love d people I work wiv...even my ED though he gets on my nerves wiv his energizer bunny thing....

-Blogsville pple r horny....they can like to tempt smeone in2 shaggin...kai.......

-Am @ a crossroad in my life...

-I've bin listenin to too much melanchonic music dese days...either that or angry rock..."Do u mind if I kill u....." That's Within Temptation by d way....

-MI's d best tin to happen to Nigerian music in decades....He writes so deep.......DAMN.....

-I hav two blog wives....Iya Ile (XSN) has a wife(no she's not gay they just say the is married) n Iya Ita (Miz Lowlah) has a hubby (RocNaija)...Twisted init.....

-my queen ur nicotine/morphine or heroin/my delicate heroine/livin is harrowin/inject in2 marrow/in2 my system i'm arrowin/a needle i need u...
Wen i get u in2 my system/i'm twistin I'm turnin/listen am burnin/glisten am yearnin...
This is d best part...... Aaah/my lips upon ur lips/ur hips my fingertips/we kiss n then eclipse......
Mi's talkin abt his addiction to a woman....friggin deep......

-People hav started askin me who my girlfriend/future wife is.....I tell em "if u see her tell her I'm lookin for her too..." Mschewwwwwwww nonsense.....

-There's nifink my wicked lil heart likes hearin beta dan a shaky female voice sayin "U r drivin me crazyyy...." neheehheehehehehe...

-I'm tired of dependin on dis stupid agency's 20k a mnth corper's salary for ny upkeep. I'm therefore open to job offers. Anyone need a gigolo? I giv amazing head......

-Rily rily need to get that shotgun....

-My friends say am polygamus......cos I hav a lot of close female friends......WTF?

-Hung out wit Justina (XSN's wife) in Lag yesterday...I miss skool....

-wil u stop lookin @ me lik dat? Kai u can lik to tempt smeone.....

-I love eyes....I believe they r d windows to d soul....U can show wats on ur mind thru ur eyes...under d rite situations u can also impress dat onto anoda person's mind....

-Hola @ my girl Miss Lowlah n show her some luv!!!!
-Oh I'm a bit empty nw.... whew..........Much beta.......Later people!!!!


Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sexy blog game....got tagged by Miss Lowlah...

Ok I got tagged by Miss Lowlah (kiss kiss..) in dis chain blog......bin a while I did dis but here goes...

Nu rules (sori Lowlah) wen u read instead of commentin continue d stori.......u can add any twist be it good or bad.....sexy, slutty, down right X-rated.........put comedy, suspence, drama....ANYTHING!!!!!

Oya lets go dia....

"You complete and utter beast! Did you not see me standing here?" She yelled.
He glanced back ready to spit out a curse but then he did a double take when he saw just who was yelling at him.
"Dang!" he thought. "This woman fine oh...."
Aloud he said, "What are you yelling for? Did I hit you on purpose? Abeg cool down jare"
This obviously enraged her because she walked up to him and then she...

*Qube* she just stood there starin daggers @ him.....she wanted to slap him but found her self trapped by his eyes......they were a startlin blue....he was an african dude wiv beautiful blue eyes..
"Hello,hello? HELLO!"
"Oh sori i got lost u were sayin"
"Why were u staring @ me? I said I was sori..."
"Oh its ok..." "Do u wear contacts" she blurted out
He laughed, deep n throathy.....her spine was tinglin n it reached her brain....
"No I'm half caste dats why" he said. "Oh okkaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAYYY!!!!!!".............

"Gotcha".....

Am tired oh....oya I tag ExschoolNerd....continue sweerie....

PS: Pls swing by my girl Miz Lowlah's blog (www.naijanonvirgin.blogspot.com)...She's nu here so showw her luv aaight? Deuces.....

Meetin XSN, Sunday @ D bay n oda wkend sturves

Hi blogsville, sori i've bin away so long....work's bin a bitch and since the fourth person has gone back to skool, my two ogas seem to take it upon themselves not to do ANYTHING.....instead they send me. Kai e no go beta for NYSC o.....
Neways hw was ur wkend? Mine was BANGIN!!! Not that kind of bangin afrobabe.....

it almost started badly bcos d Agency saw it fit to withhold my salary bcos of mistakes in d payroll....these people don't knw who dey messin wiv ooh....as in I told em not to put me in IT but noooo now I've learnt great n powerful computer jutsu......MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Movin on....

I met XSN!!!! It was so COOL!!! we had bin chattin for a while (I didn't tell y'all? Dang) n I invited her for a wkend beach hangout that hold evry last Sunday of d mnth....

First impression...Laide is TALL!!! Not tall as in "hey u r tall in heels oh"
Tall as in I'm 5 11'.....she's 6 1'
N wen she says she's chocolatey goodness......NO LIES THERE!!!!

Had to struggle to kip my eyes off her chest for d first 20 mins......lol it wasn't easy bt I mastered my rovin eye......
Funi tin is she turns out to b SHY.......am lik u? SHY? HW? WHY?

Den her friends show up(she invited em too) n we move to Alpha beach wiv evry1 else

Turns out we lik d same music n we both tink tellytubbies is retarded wiv capital letters........

Now to d beach prty.....
IT.WAS.MAHD!!!!!!

At a point in time bois were d ones shakin booty @ chics....pple were so high.....
there was a butt shakin contest for girls AND guys.....lmao

@ one point I gave XSN a lap dance.....she was just lookin @ me shocked-like...her friends were screamin n stuff.....den I grabbed Rayo n started slow whinin....she was just laughin n screamin @ d same time...

Time flies wen u r havin fun ooh...was soon time to go home, so we packd up n left....hugged XSN n promised to call.....Traffic was MAGICAL....as in terrible.....Fashola pls do smetin abt it oooh...

Got home was deliciously tired man.....XSN do u knw I dreamt abt ur lips......wonder hw soft they are......

Ok I'm off.....think I need a cold shower now.......XSN u rock!!!! Hangin wiv u was d best men.

We shuld do it again yeah? aaight off ta bed!!!! Gats to get up early to earn my FAT salary(NOT!!!!)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Random Acts of Kindness

Sometime last month I decided to start what I called my "random acts of kindness". I actually wanted to start random acts of violence but figured I culdn't go around hittin pple n pushin dem in2 oncoming traffic init? So I chose d kindness thingy...
Well for a few days it was just helpin old pple across d street...payin for pple in d bus who had no change....u know lil things. That was until I met Rachael.
She has d lovliest eyes that smile wen she does, n she always walks wiv a spring in her step...b4 Bumight,Afrobabe n d rest kill me for scopin anoda woman wen XSN is stil dere, its not like dat. See Racheal is six years old.
No, I'm not some kinda perverted peadophile....read on...
She passes the street leadin to d Agency every mornin on her way to skool,always greetin everyone..so friendly n intelligent. Now she always gets bullied by some goatkissers called mallam okada riders. D first day I met her she was standin on d road afraid to move on bcos of d said ass lickers. So I stopped n said why r u standin here petrified? She told me n I held her hand as she passed em. Now I a bit on d chubby side so wen dey saw moi, they felt I was an uncle or smetin n decided it wuld b prudent to leave her alone. Good choice dat day. We sorta bcame friends(as a 20 smetin yr old guy n a 6 yr old can).
Now to d fateful day I've bin goin to....was a bit late leavin d house so I got to d Agency later dan usual. As I was walkin up my road I saw those brainless sons of dogs harrasin d poor girl again. Now thisis a tru story so wat 'm abt to say rily happened ok?
I just saw red............next tin was I grabbed a helmet off one of the parked okadas n smashed it in2 d nearest mallam's head. Neva knew dose tins were dat hard...see blood eh.....b4 d rest culd react I was swingin away wiv abandon. Of course afta lik 4 seconds d suprise faded n they jumped me.Twas not pretty..
At this point I was facin abt 4 angry mallams.......they were circlin tryin to find an openin cos I was swingin my helmet wiv abndon...all of a sudden "Aes stop dia!! oya all of u hans up!! Are u mad? Hans up my friend"....
Ur friendly neighbourhood Mopo(Mobile Police) is here!!!
Apparently they were comin bck from night partol n happened upon our lil fracas....n imajin bin man handled by grouchy sleepy,high on weed mobile policemen...not cool.
"Oya enter dvan!!I say enter dvan!!:
"Officer take it easy lemme explain"
"Explain wetin? r u mad? I say enter dia 4 me o jare! Do u want me to shoot ur leg?"
:Hey Alhaji u no knw me?"
"Ah ah,Qube,is dat u? Leave a leave am first! i say leave am o! Qube,bawo ni? Wat r u doin tanglin wit dese bastards?"
U see, Alhaji is a mobile policeman dat works wiv my uncle. My uncle's a top policeman in Lagos state command. His office is in Ikeja, like 10 mins from my office. On several ocassions wen visitin my uncle, we had gone to eat together...lets say d guy was fond of me
"alhaji na God bring u come o"
"shey na u dis bastards dey beat so? Why na? Wetin happen?"
Wen I told him d story he saw red too....for u see Alhaji had a daughter just Racheal's age...n he doted on her lik she was the sun. U can imajin was happened nxt...
"YEE!YEE! Oga abeg abeg"
"Una don die today!I wil treat u pple lik armed robbers!! Ehh see dis ones wey na mad woman rape dem mama wey she come born dem!! Disturbin a lil girl lik dat....una no get wife? OOOH una wan rape am eh!!! Na die una dey!"
"Oga a beg o!!" "Will u sharap!" "Abeg na!" "I say SHARAP b4 I do smetin drastic!"
Alhaji left wiv d assholes....haven't heard wat happened to dem but suffices to say no bike man in dat street carries me nw....but it waas worth it.......Racheal nw worships d ground I walk on...her mom actually came to thank me in d office..was SO embarrassin....
God sees all we do...GOOD or BAD....n he rewards accordingly.....THINK ABT IT....

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mumblings........

feels so......EMPTY? UNFINISHED? UNFUFILLED? Men dunno...its rippin me apart....
I wake each day n do d same thing...bathe...go to work...work,work,work,....fight traffic bck home...eat...sleep.....wake....bathe...u get my drift
I HATE d routine. Its killin me softly. I feel like one day I'll take an AKM to work n do d Naija workplace massacre..not bcos I hate em but just bcos I'm bin ground in2 stiffness.
There's no room here to flex my mental muscle.Nothing new to look forward to.
Am whinin rite? Yeah I knw....blogsville is d only place where I feel free neh....Hmmnn
Aaight dats enuff...I'm off to look for my blog luv..did we were chattin last wk? She has accepted to b my blog chic....kai exskoolnerd u set my soul on fire!!!! LOL

Friday, March 6, 2009

The hunter-gatherer

No, this isn't a paleontology lecture..i was home afta anoda long ass boring day @ work (can't help d whining; am hyper-active) n one of my very good friends came ova n we were chatting about d different girls in my life. showed him XSN's blog;he laughed himself to stupor.Den went on and on abt her untilo he hit me ova d head wiv a shoe.Aaaaah XSN, u rock like granite.........
Movin on.....
we were discussin d women in our lives n he was tellin me about all his escapades. As we were talkin it hit me that we were discussin cheating as casually as we wuld say d manUtd's recent game.Mind u,his girlfriend is d one of d most voluptrous women I knw. we call her 'Eru'(meaning load or in her case, heavy!!). She loves him to death n he doesn't show her anything but d utmost in affection.If he loves her so much and they are so happy(which they are), y is he cheating?
My grief is most of d guys I know both very well and just as aquaintances have at one time or the other cheated on their significant other. it also swings both ways but i'm here for d guys so.......
where was I? Oh yes,why do we guys find it so easy to cheat? Sme one once said its bcos we stil have the genetic tendency to hunt and since we have dragged in2 evolution kickin and screaming we hav refused to let d hunting thing go and since we can't hunt game(cept for folks in the country) we hunt chics.
Now I won't say I haven't bin tempted to do my share of creeping around....it isn't easy to resist especially when the girl tells u she don't care abt ur girlfriend as long as u give her good.......ok movin on. Guys just tend to give in2 it too easily.N they neva stop to think about the consequenses like if they girl catches them...........
Or what just happened to my guy dats sleepin ova....his latest conquest just called.......she's pregnant.........

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

D wordsmith's in luv

Hi folks!
As I was contemplatin on wat to post dis fine morning,it suddenly hit me......
I hadn't read her blog.
Yes folks, I'm comin out...I've bin kinda stalkin someone....n no its not bumight!
She's so funny n witty...her writing is fresh....you can feel her thru her words...aaaaah I'm sprung...
Yes blogsville, I'm publicly declarin me hart for HER!!!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

So far..........

So I'm stuck in dis cold ass server room thinkin abt my life and wat has happened n I decided to share wiv yall in blogsville.....Hmnn I'm gettin addicted to dis tin ooh make e no go b lik facebook wey I no fit breathe wivout checkin my notifications. Lol
So here we go
-I finally got called up!! Am servin in Lagos but am kinda regrettin it nw...Lag traffic is a bitch
- Momc has finally backed off my case a bit!! hallelu,HALLELUYAH!!
-Am working one boring ass job in SO&U's IT dept
-Girls seem to be swarmin on me like flies on shite dese days...maybe I shuld change soap or smetin. HEY HEY I NO DO ABI NA BY FORCE NI?
-However they ain't too interested in shaggin; which is wat I nid @ d moment....
-I shagged a girl den found out she wasn't 18 yet...go figure u culda fooled me wiv dose 36Ds
-I seem to b pushin a lot of wifey materials away from me so they don't get hurt....Hope I dnt push me future wife away too
-Popsc has started treatimn me like a responsible adult...hmnnnn gettin a job urself does wonders smetimes
-One chic dat resembles a cross btw a wet rat n a diseased hyena started chattin me up in d bus one day....Aw HELL NO!!!
-started lookin thru blogs online....u guys lead fuckin hilarious lives......
Here's my pick of d bunch
-Memoirs of a randy Nigerian Dis dude is too horny..
-Fine Boy Agbero just cracks me up..Suspect he has had experience...
-Exschoolnerd read den laugh till u almost die...
-Crazy Vivacious Read @ ur own peril...
-Baddest Chic As in...
-Gen Next vry cool writer..
If I rememba any more I'll post...
Dats all folks oya go bck to work ooo! My own oga is calin me..
"Yung man! Go and replace dat UPS sharp!!!"
"Yes Sir...."

Since I posted dis Padosh n Shona hav commented...tanks for bin d first to comment on my blog..
MWAH!MWAH!!MWAH!!! n Shona I tink ur blog's great!!
More pls...

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Rantin abt dis love tin sef....

I want to go on one of my famous rants...
Y u ask? Cos of this tin called LOVE.
Kai, wat the f**k is d big deal sef? One minute u r mindin ur bizness, d next sme human comes n invades ur mental space n drives u up d wall. U can't breathe, think, eat, or smetimes live witout said mental terrorist. den u find out
1.D person.s too old/too yung/already spoken for/a bonafide playa/diff religion/razz/too tush/to rich/too poor/wateva rattles ur chain.. or
2.d person is too good to b tru, in which case he/she usually is n u love up to d high heavens only u to crash wiv a satisfyin and sickenin PLOP!
then d attendant moroseness n sadness washes ova u lik a tsnami n blah blah blah
We've all bin there n done that. Movin on.......
What I think is our ancestors (not lik Sango ancestors no no no much fuurther back.. lik Neanderthal peeps) dat made up dis luv crap; conversation must hav gone a lil sometin lik dis
Yung neander: papa, why u lik mama so much? u hunt deer, u bring to her. u kill sabertooth, u bring to her. u make mead, u bring to her. Y?
old neander:(in his mind he mumbles "cos I lik shaggin" but den says) Because...becaus erm erm bcos I love her! Yes dat it!
yung neander:Wat love papa?
Old neander(tinkin fast):erm rm it feelin u feel wen u feel feelin for person u neva feel before in life!Also bcos I lik shaggin ur mom but dat anoda story....
yung neander(totally ovawhelmed by the intricate words):WOW!!!! Love great!!
Thus the legend called love was born
Ova the centuries it grew n grew; from the temples of Aphrodities to modern day nausea inducin shite.
What actually killed it was that twit, Valentine n his heroic of 'oh look at me, I'm dyin for love.Commemarate my stupidity by creatin a day where u go out n crack ur brain on findin d perfect present for ur one tru love or smeone like dat sha'. Idiocy of PhD level.
Aaaah,I've vented my anger. but the fact still remains, luv is smetin dat can so b done without. Shebi wat God said is "Be fruitful n multiply"; He didn't say nufink abt fallin in luv............

Monday, February 16, 2009

25 tin abt me...n a lil more...

1.I have 2 personalities....N we talk to each other all d time...
2.I wish I was not as fat as I am. Contrary to popular belief I'm not hapi wiv d way I look.
3.I LOVE meeting new people...
4.I'm so SANGUINE its unbelievable...can't seem to turn it off.
5.Back in uni I was in a dance group...actually bcme popular bcos of it.
6.I love art in all its forms but i esp like photgraphy, music and dance.
7.I've bin a ManUtd fan since 1994.I knw sme1 who's bin a fan since 1974...
8.I'm gonna hav one of d biggest personal libraries in d world...
9.I'm so nice it sickens me atimes...
10. I don't drink or smoke. I don't womanise...........dat much....as in a lil sha......lol
11.Most people dat knw me dnt knw I'm capable of so many vile n detestable tins;I knw hw to b manipulative n utterly evil...its my alter ego not rily me.God help me
12. Bros J is ma Homeboy. I strive to b like Him everyday.
13. I want to be unbelivably rich wen I grow older so I can b an anonymous philantrophist
14. I'm a FBholic...its rily so bad...
15. I'm scared of gettin close to girls cos I usually end up havin silly crushes.
16. I wanted to join d Navy but Popsie said no.
17. I will visit all d continents n major countries in dis world b4 I log out.
18. I'm family crazy! I love meeting nu cousins;in uni I meet abt 7 of em.
19.I really need to move out of my father's house :(
20. I want to own my own events company someday. Dat n go bungee jumpin, scuba divin, sky divin, walk d Aapalachain trail, c Everest, produce a hit song, act in a movie, n a bunch of other excitin stuff I can't remember now...
21.I love helping people.Just wonder hw I can turn dat in2 a career
22.I'm voluptrous by nature.
23.I'm scared i won't b a good father to my future children
24.I love PARTYING!!! But my floks are strict so I didn't get to do much growin up
25. I'm THRU!!Men dis tin is harder dan it looks.I tink I'll go find sme1 to torture nw....
Ok dis is d lil more
I'm obsessed wiv military hardware n martial arts
I need to start writing more...
I was born thru caeseran bcos me head was too big..
If I rememba more I'll post em....

Love is..........

Love is the most powerful and necessary element in life. it encompases both giving and taking and allows us 2 reach above and beyond ourselves 2 experience anoda person and allow that person to experience us. To love someone is to want to know and understand them.In many ways we remain a mystery to ourselves, with the people around us even more of a mystery. Love requires an investment of time and energy in order to develop.
Sensitivity to our own and other's needs and feelinngs. love takes time. it needs a history of giving and recieving, laughing and crying. love neva promises instant gratification, only ultimate fulfilment. Love is reliable and firm. When others have tried and failed, love is the hand in yours in the moments of discouragement and dissapointment. love is doing everything u can to help others to build whatever dreams they have.

I'll surive

This is a poem I wrote back when I broke up wiv my first girl cos she was cheatin....
I'm not dis dramatic now but thot yall wuld like dis
here goes.....

U broke me.Its the truth.So simple, so short and so hurtful n harsh to rememba
U took my heart and returned it in a thousand pieces;u took myy spirit n plunged it in2 d deepest n darkest of torments
U took my soul n clawed it apart like a ravenous wolf
It wuld hav bin beta if u took me up a volcanoe n dropped me into its depths
or plunged me into d heart of the Sun
or flung me into an exploding star
Why did u take my love for granted? I poured d waters of my soul at ur feet
And u trampled on it
like an eagle after prey u pounced on the very core of my being and tore it apart
piece...by aching piece
how my heart bleeds when I think of d damage u inflicted on the centre of my essence
like a tornado u blew n tore thru my life
leavin an emptiness, no an aching begging to be filled
but I will survive
Ah yes I will survive!!!

30 commandments for girls

Now I kinda meddled wiv it a bit so this is

ma version........
1. Thou shall NOT be a LONG TINS BABE (you know what I mean?)
Totally agree. LONG TINS=EJECTION.@ a time,no time!

2. Thou shall not lack in boobs, yansh and hips. If you must, please lack only one and find a way to make up for it.
YES!PLS!MAKE UP 4 IT!Africans aren't so in2
toothpick girls.

3. Thou shall NOT be a down to earth, real or ride or die chick. I.e all those ruff, rugged

and raw “tell it as it is” girls, NOT WERKING.
Well,this depends. U can b down to earth but
if u razz,RED CARD!!

4. Thou shall not have dew hair (All those afro/afro-kinky “soul” sisters… FORGET IT)
Again,it depends.Howeva,if u have hair dat looks like what happens wen a drowned rat
gets electrocuted,DO SMETIN ABT IT!

5. Thou shall not be a non-church goer. Ladies, for extra credit, be an usher, Sunday
school aunty or PRAYER WARRIOR (This applies to other religious sects)
YES O!Bruthas always need a prayin sista to hold dem down.

6. Thou shall not go to club to find husband... YOU GO JONZ!!
Quite tru. U only go to clubs for two tins;get ur dutty whine on or get one nite
shagged.Tru story.

7. Thou shall not drink hard liquor or beers. Stick to 2 glasses of wine, IF YOU MUST DRINK ALCHOHOL.
Yes to dis too.PLS do not tink breathin alchohol on im is sexy in ANY WAY!

8. Thou shall not have un-manicured nails (It has to be French manicure acrylic nails).
YES O!At least let them be neat.Tis freaky wen a girl's nails look like she's just risen
from d dead.

9. Thou shall not have daddy issues (victims of divorced parents and dysfunctional
families … keep it to yourselves).
Also,its cool to b a daddy's girl but not cool wen u dont know wen to stop.

10. Thou shall not go without makeup (i.e. caked foundation, studio fix but ensure that

the make up has a natural look which is purple lip liner, pink lip gloss and
chocolate/natural eye shadows)
Well,as long as u dont end up looking like Bolo d Clown.

11. Thou shall not lack culinary skills. Perfect the art of egusi, ogbono and all

variations of rice. Home Economics is in order.
i'll just say dis;D way to a man's(n his

friends n family) heart is thru his stomach.Trust me on dis.

12. Thou shall not be a “posh sturvs”. Sushi or lasagne…uh ..really?
YES!Esp wen d guy can tell u dont know wat lasagne is.

13. Thou shall not knack ya head when you have a weave. Futhermore, on no account
should you be caught scratching and flicking the condiments into thin air. That is simply
DISGUSTING.
THANK YOU!finally someone had d guts to say this.The whole head banging tin makes yall
look like crazies.

14. Thou shall not do any strange degrees, such as development, journalism or medical
genetics. Ladies, stick to law, engineering, accounting, business or pharmacy.
Word!stick to smetin dat can actually supplement his salary,not drain it.

15. Thou shall not have a sense of humour or try to even be funny (note: SARCASM IS A NO NO)
This is where I start havin a prob. A girl wiv a sense of humor is a great asset.Pls
neva lose ur funny bones!

16. Ultimately, thou shall not go past a first degree, maybe masters (PHD IS AN
ABORMINATION)
17. If thou must study a masters, please please, remember to dumb down when hanging
with his friends.
To 16;please.guys love smart girls.Its oversabi n condesending girls dey hate.
To 17;refer to 'To 16'

18. Thou shall not disclose too much of yourself. You will seem needy
YES!I dont need to know all ur 'stories dat touch'!

19. Thou SHALL NOT have a sex life or sexual imagination prior to meeting him. Let him
“teach” you.
that can swing both ways.yall can teach each other.hehehehe

20. Thou shall not listen to anything other than r’n’b or hip hop (common is pushing it).
All you World music and rock chicks, NOT HAPPENING MATE).
again not feelin it.some of d sexiest girls I know listen to rock (*hint* portable)

21. Thou shall NOT an independent woman. (all those “I can pay my own bills” bullshit…
Basically , LONG TINS). Refer to commandment one!
If u ain't independent,d guy will not respect u.TAMAT!

22. Thou shall not be opinionated or well informed (WARNING: This might come off as
intimidating. Besides, no one likes a miss know it all).
just tone it down a bit

23. Thou shall not go to any obscure University. Please stick to Kent, Leicester,
Nottingham, and Reading. (WARNING- YOU WILL END UP ALONE).
Dont know abt dis one...

24. Thou shall not be overly friendly. All those social butterflies and jovial.
Personalities…BEWARE.
Bollocks.

25. Thou shall not be anti-social when it comes to his family. You have to GET IN THERE
FULLY.
Yes,else u canna marry!!

26. Thou shall not explore any originality when it comes to fashion. Stick to T.M Lewin,
Hawes&Curtis, pointies or kitten heels, and jeans – Abortion belt always puts the icing
on the cake. To complete the look, don’t be seen without your thick framed rectangular
glasses (YOU SHOULD HAVE GONE TO SPECSAVERS)
Now unless u actually have a good dress imajination,pls,PLS stick to dis rule!!

27. Thou shall not hunt in packs (warning to girls with bossom bodies that cant be
separated
This is so tru!!u will not get dat cute boi in ENG 209 cos he wil neva,NEVA WADE IN2 A
WOLFPACK!!

28. Thou shall NOT be loud. Keep your voice to a minimum always
LOUD=LOUSY.

29. Thou shall not appear to be having too much fun on the dance floor. When it comes to
dancing, keep it simple (Dutty winders and grinders, ITS NOT HAPPENING).
In everything,moderation. Dutty windin is for hoes n video chics.

30. Thou shall not think about breaking this next commandment. The ULTIMATE, IF NOT YOU
ARE FINISHED.It Will be an OYO STATE (on you own) FOR YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
LADIES PLEASE PLEASE AND PLEASE DO NOT GO TO THE BEDROOM WITH ANY WRAPPER, NIGHT SHIRT, WHITE TOP GEL OR SHELLY ON YOUR FACE. If you must Do all the above, LADIES, BURN THOSE GOLD AND BLACK HAIR NETS. Girls, we are all guilty of owning a hair net or 2. And we know
that all the commandments before suggests that you must be a babe on P constantly. You
have to FIND A WAY TO WORK AROUND THIS HAIR NET ISSUES. Statistics dictates that one in
two marriages FAIL due to this.
I cant begin to list d ways in which this last ones true. If u cant look sexy for ur
man,I assure u,someone else will.Stay on ur game ALWAYS!!!!
Addendum:As a last rule:You must be on FACEBOOK!!
HOW U NO GO DEY FACEBOOK?HOW?HOW??
OYA QUICK QUICK GO AND JOIN NOW!!!!!!!