Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Sexy blog game....got tagged by Miss Lowlah...

Ok I got tagged by Miss Lowlah (kiss kiss..) in dis chain blog......bin a while I did dis but here goes...

Nu rules (sori Lowlah) wen u read instead of commentin continue d stori.......u can add any twist be it good or bad.....sexy, slutty, down right X-rated.........put comedy, suspence, drama....ANYTHING!!!!!

Oya lets go dia....

"You complete and utter beast! Did you not see me standing here?" She yelled.
He glanced back ready to spit out a curse but then he did a double take when he saw just who was yelling at him.
"Dang!" he thought. "This woman fine oh...."
Aloud he said, "What are you yelling for? Did I hit you on purpose? Abeg cool down jare"
This obviously enraged her because she walked up to him and then she...

*Qube* she just stood there starin daggers @ him.....she wanted to slap him but found her self trapped by his eyes......they were a startlin blue....he was an african dude wiv beautiful blue eyes..
"Hello,hello? HELLO!"
"Oh sori i got lost u were sayin"
"Why were u staring @ me? I said I was sori..."
"Oh its ok..." "Do u wear contacts" she blurted out
He laughed, deep n throathy.....her spine was tinglin n it reached her brain....
"No I'm half caste dats why" he said. "Oh okkaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAYYY!!!!!!".............

"Gotcha".....

Am tired oh....oya I tag ExschoolNerd....continue sweerie....

PS: Pls swing by my girl Miz Lowlah's blog (www.naijanonvirgin.blogspot.com)...She's nu here so showw her luv aaight? Deuces.....

Meetin XSN, Sunday @ D bay n oda wkend sturves

Hi blogsville, sori i've bin away so long....work's bin a bitch and since the fourth person has gone back to skool, my two ogas seem to take it upon themselves not to do ANYTHING.....instead they send me. Kai e no go beta for NYSC o.....
Neways hw was ur wkend? Mine was BANGIN!!! Not that kind of bangin afrobabe.....

it almost started badly bcos d Agency saw it fit to withhold my salary bcos of mistakes in d payroll....these people don't knw who dey messin wiv ooh....as in I told em not to put me in IT but noooo now I've learnt great n powerful computer jutsu......MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Movin on....

I met XSN!!!! It was so COOL!!! we had bin chattin for a while (I didn't tell y'all? Dang) n I invited her for a wkend beach hangout that hold evry last Sunday of d mnth....

First impression...Laide is TALL!!! Not tall as in "hey u r tall in heels oh"
Tall as in I'm 5 11'.....she's 6 1'
N wen she says she's chocolatey goodness......NO LIES THERE!!!!

Had to struggle to kip my eyes off her chest for d first 20 mins......lol it wasn't easy bt I mastered my rovin eye......
Funi tin is she turns out to b SHY.......am lik u? SHY? HW? WHY?

Den her friends show up(she invited em too) n we move to Alpha beach wiv evry1 else

Turns out we lik d same music n we both tink tellytubbies is retarded wiv capital letters........

Now to d beach prty.....
IT.WAS.MAHD!!!!!!

At a point in time bois were d ones shakin booty @ chics....pple were so high.....
there was a butt shakin contest for girls AND guys.....lmao

@ one point I gave XSN a lap dance.....she was just lookin @ me shocked-like...her friends were screamin n stuff.....den I grabbed Rayo n started slow whinin....she was just laughin n screamin @ d same time...

Time flies wen u r havin fun ooh...was soon time to go home, so we packd up n left....hugged XSN n promised to call.....Traffic was MAGICAL....as in terrible.....Fashola pls do smetin abt it oooh...

Got home was deliciously tired man.....XSN do u knw I dreamt abt ur lips......wonder hw soft they are......

Ok I'm off.....think I need a cold shower now.......XSN u rock!!!! Hangin wiv u was d best men.

We shuld do it again yeah? aaight off ta bed!!!! Gats to get up early to earn my FAT salary(NOT!!!!)

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Random Acts of Kindness

Sometime last month I decided to start what I called my "random acts of kindness". I actually wanted to start random acts of violence but figured I culdn't go around hittin pple n pushin dem in2 oncoming traffic init? So I chose d kindness thingy...
Well for a few days it was just helpin old pple across d street...payin for pple in d bus who had no change....u know lil things. That was until I met Rachael.
She has d lovliest eyes that smile wen she does, n she always walks wiv a spring in her step...b4 Bumight,Afrobabe n d rest kill me for scopin anoda woman wen XSN is stil dere, its not like dat. See Racheal is six years old.
No, I'm not some kinda perverted peadophile....read on...
She passes the street leadin to d Agency every mornin on her way to skool,always greetin everyone..so friendly n intelligent. Now she always gets bullied by some goatkissers called mallam okada riders. D first day I met her she was standin on d road afraid to move on bcos of d said ass lickers. So I stopped n said why r u standin here petrified? She told me n I held her hand as she passed em. Now I a bit on d chubby side so wen dey saw moi, they felt I was an uncle or smetin n decided it wuld b prudent to leave her alone. Good choice dat day. We sorta bcame friends(as a 20 smetin yr old guy n a 6 yr old can).
Now to d fateful day I've bin goin to....was a bit late leavin d house so I got to d Agency later dan usual. As I was walkin up my road I saw those brainless sons of dogs harrasin d poor girl again. Now thisis a tru story so wat 'm abt to say rily happened ok?
I just saw red............next tin was I grabbed a helmet off one of the parked okadas n smashed it in2 d nearest mallam's head. Neva knew dose tins were dat hard...see blood eh.....b4 d rest culd react I was swingin away wiv abandon. Of course afta lik 4 seconds d suprise faded n they jumped me.Twas not pretty..
At this point I was facin abt 4 angry mallams.......they were circlin tryin to find an openin cos I was swingin my helmet wiv abndon...all of a sudden "Aes stop dia!! oya all of u hans up!! Are u mad? Hans up my friend"....
Ur friendly neighbourhood Mopo(Mobile Police) is here!!!
Apparently they were comin bck from night partol n happened upon our lil fracas....n imajin bin man handled by grouchy sleepy,high on weed mobile policemen...not cool.
"Oya enter dvan!!I say enter dvan!!:
"Officer take it easy lemme explain"
"Explain wetin? r u mad? I say enter dia 4 me o jare! Do u want me to shoot ur leg?"
:Hey Alhaji u no knw me?"
"Ah ah,Qube,is dat u? Leave a leave am first! i say leave am o! Qube,bawo ni? Wat r u doin tanglin wit dese bastards?"
U see, Alhaji is a mobile policeman dat works wiv my uncle. My uncle's a top policeman in Lagos state command. His office is in Ikeja, like 10 mins from my office. On several ocassions wen visitin my uncle, we had gone to eat together...lets say d guy was fond of me
"alhaji na God bring u come o"
"shey na u dis bastards dey beat so? Why na? Wetin happen?"
Wen I told him d story he saw red too....for u see Alhaji had a daughter just Racheal's age...n he doted on her lik she was the sun. U can imajin was happened nxt...
"YEE!YEE! Oga abeg abeg"
"Una don die today!I wil treat u pple lik armed robbers!! Ehh see dis ones wey na mad woman rape dem mama wey she come born dem!! Disturbin a lil girl lik dat....una no get wife? OOOH una wan rape am eh!!! Na die una dey!"
"Oga a beg o!!" "Will u sharap!" "Abeg na!" "I say SHARAP b4 I do smetin drastic!"
Alhaji left wiv d assholes....haven't heard wat happened to dem but suffices to say no bike man in dat street carries me nw....but it waas worth it.......Racheal nw worships d ground I walk on...her mom actually came to thank me in d office..was SO embarrassin....
God sees all we do...GOOD or BAD....n he rewards accordingly.....THINK ABT IT....

Monday, March 16, 2009

Mumblings........

feels so......EMPTY? UNFINISHED? UNFUFILLED? Men dunno...its rippin me apart....
I wake each day n do d same thing...bathe...go to work...work,work,work,....fight traffic bck home...eat...sleep.....wake....bathe...u get my drift
I HATE d routine. Its killin me softly. I feel like one day I'll take an AKM to work n do d Naija workplace massacre..not bcos I hate em but just bcos I'm bin ground in2 stiffness.
There's no room here to flex my mental muscle.Nothing new to look forward to.
Am whinin rite? Yeah I knw....blogsville is d only place where I feel free neh....Hmmnn
Aaight dats enuff...I'm off to look for my blog luv..did we were chattin last wk? She has accepted to b my blog chic....kai exskoolnerd u set my soul on fire!!!! LOL

Friday, March 6, 2009

The hunter-gatherer

No, this isn't a paleontology lecture..i was home afta anoda long ass boring day @ work (can't help d whining; am hyper-active) n one of my very good friends came ova n we were chatting about d different girls in my life. showed him XSN's blog;he laughed himself to stupor.Den went on and on abt her untilo he hit me ova d head wiv a shoe.Aaaaah XSN, u rock like granite.........
Movin on.....
we were discussin d women in our lives n he was tellin me about all his escapades. As we were talkin it hit me that we were discussin cheating as casually as we wuld say d manUtd's recent game.Mind u,his girlfriend is d one of d most voluptrous women I knw. we call her 'Eru'(meaning load or in her case, heavy!!). She loves him to death n he doesn't show her anything but d utmost in affection.If he loves her so much and they are so happy(which they are), y is he cheating?
My grief is most of d guys I know both very well and just as aquaintances have at one time or the other cheated on their significant other. it also swings both ways but i'm here for d guys so.......
where was I? Oh yes,why do we guys find it so easy to cheat? Sme one once said its bcos we stil have the genetic tendency to hunt and since we have dragged in2 evolution kickin and screaming we hav refused to let d hunting thing go and since we can't hunt game(cept for folks in the country) we hunt chics.
Now I won't say I haven't bin tempted to do my share of creeping around....it isn't easy to resist especially when the girl tells u she don't care abt ur girlfriend as long as u give her good.......ok movin on. Guys just tend to give in2 it too easily.N they neva stop to think about the consequenses like if they girl catches them...........
Or what just happened to my guy dats sleepin ova....his latest conquest just called.......she's pregnant.........