Tuesday, April 28, 2009

More Honesty

Was tagged by Mis Lowlah..so here goes sweerie :)
1.I have 2 personalities....N we talk to each other all d time...
2.I wish I was not as fat as I am. Contrary to popular belief I'm not hapi wiv d way I look.
3.I LOVE meeting new people...
4.I'm so SANGUINE its unbelievable...can't seem to turn it off.
5.Back in uni I was in a dance group...actually bcme popular bcos of it.
6.I love art in all its forms but i esp like photgraphy, music and dance.
7.I've bin a ManUtd fan since 1994.I knw sme1 who's bin a fan since 1974...
8.I'm gonna hav one of d biggest personal libraries in d world...
9.I'm so nice it sickens me atimes...
10. I don't drink or smoke. I don't womanise...........dat much....as in a lil sha......lol
11.Most people dat knw me dnt knw I'm capable of so many vile n detestable tins;I knw hw to b manipulative n utterly evil...its my alter ego not rily me.God help me
12. Bros J is ma Homeboy. I strive to b like Him everyday.
13. I want to be unbelivably rich wen I grow older so I can b an anonymous philantrophist
14. I'm a FBholic...its rily so bad...
15. I'm scared of gettin close to girls cos I usually end up havin silly crushes.
16. I wanted to join d Navy but Popsie said no.
17. I will visit all d continents n major countries in dis world b4 I log out.
18. I'm family crazy! I love meeting nu cousins;in uni I meet abt 7 of em.
19.I really need to move out of my father's house :(
20. I want to own my own events company someday. Dat n go bungee jumpin, scuba divin, sky divin, walk d Aapalachain trail, c Everest, produce a hit song, act in a movie, n a bunch of other excitin stuff I can't remember now...
21.I love helping people.Just wonder hw I can turn dat in2 a career
22.I'm voluptrous by nature.
23.I'm scared i won't b a good father to my future children
24.I love PARTYING!!! But my floks are strict so I didn't get to do much growin up
25. I'm THRU!!Men dis tin is harder dan it looks.I tink I'll go find sme1 to torture nw....
Ok dis is d lil more
I'm obsessed wiv military hardware n martial arts
I need to start writing more...
I was born thru caeseran bcos me head was too big..
Wanna have a threesome wiv 2 bisexuals......neheehehehe yeah I know am a freak....
If I rememba more I'll post em....

Friday, April 17, 2009

Exhale...woosaa....

Bin gone for a long while....am sori tis not like i wanted to...while I was ruminating on what to write I hav bin blog stalkin n stuff...interestin stuff has bin happenin...scribble.me.free has upped n gotten sprung while Mocha's trying not to get her freak on...lol

Well what has been happening to me? hmnn.. I've bin struggling wiv OH MA LAWD!!! HE JUST STUCK HIS HAND THRU THAT GUY'S HEAD!! JESUS!!!
Sori abt that, I was watchin a horror film...nw where was I? Oh yelz....

Its a little letter I've been running thru my head...actually a series of letters to different people...stating different things....basically unburdening myself and trying to make sense of situations btw me and said person/entity...so this one's to God..

Baba G,
I know its bin a while....i've just bin trying to find the rite words. I know dats also not an exscuse...after all You are supposed to be my best friend n all. But i seem to hurt the ones that care about me the most; U haven't been any exception.
I have strayed from U Baba....its no news.....this i wuld neva do before I have done.......Hmnn suffices to say i've been a very bad boy.
i guess it all started when my heart grew cold......no its not d cold of winter but the dark cold of NOTHING...imajin hw NOTHING feels,,,yeah dat cold.....Baba G I DON'T FEEL ANYTHING.....NOT ANGER...HATE...JOY....SWEETNESS....LOVE...........NUFINK......
Silly child I imajin u say..hw can u not feel anyhting...if u don't feel love hw can u not relate wiv Me...
I know God, but its wat I feel...or rather don't....its disturbin to say the least. Wen I say i love u to anyone,i dont feel it.Even if that person is my blood......last week my dad travelled home for 5 days.I didn't call him until he did on the fourth day n asked if we were fighting; even wen I am doing something bad like strafing a girl's life, I don't feel anything. At least den i shuld feel lust or smetin but nufink. God, what's happening? Is dis hw vampires feel?
And hw can I say I love u when I don't feel love? I go thru the day and all the necessary motions but deep inside is this ...darkness..no BLACKNESS.....it eats evry emotion that i throw @ it...its insatiable......i'm on my bed nw, folding within myself and tryin to find a shred of what I used to be.....a spark.....somthing...before the blackness eats it all up. God hw can I ask for ur help when i can't find dat inner voice dat I use to speak to U? Me thinks the darkness has it. And I'm scared of searchin for it cos I don't want to b swallowed by the blackness....Help me Lord.....pls....I miss You and can't go on living like this....pls........

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wats poppin? I know its bin a long minute....My mind's bin kinda heavy but yet I can't seem to unburden it. I'm confused on so many fronts and everything's so damn blurry......

Saw this on facebook n thot it wuld b nice ta share it wiv yall....wen I hav arranged my thots I put up a proper post..

I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. The same goes for true love.

I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.

I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.

I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down, will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.

I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.

I've learned that two people can look at the same thing and see something totally different.

I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you you will find the strength to help.

I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned that the people you care about in life are sometimes taken from you far too soon

Thursday, April 9, 2009

Its my birthday!!!!!!!!!!

Today's my day....

I'm here chattin wiv a old crush and reflectin on my life so far.......

The UPS
The DOWNS
The HIGHS and LOWS

And all I can say is thank u God....

Even though sometimes I turn my back on u...U neva leave me...
Even though I behave lik a bastard sometimes u surround me wiv friends who love me...
Even though I act lik am souless smetimes U gave me a family that cares.....
Even wen I mess up U giv me chance after chance......

DAMN

Who fit love me reach u Baba? THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Randomness/Honesty

Hi blogsville, wats crackin? So my mind has bin heavy these past few weeks....dunno why.
So I decided to do smetin I used to do wen I was stil in high skool......write random thots done to empty my mind....this post may not b coherent or make much sense but here goes...

-I decided to join the band wagon n take a vow of celibacy.......Told XSN abt it n she goes "Shebi u want to go to Lag for ur masters? Wonder hw long ur vow wil hold there?" Silly child....

-D devil's smetin else. Wen I said I wanna b celibate dats wen one of my colleagues @ work takes it upon herslf to tell me everyday a nu hidin place where one culd hav a quick shag in the office.....anoda on wants me to download d karma sutra for her.......the recepcionist wants me to teach her hw to seduce n control wiv d eyes..... God pls help me oooh...

-I used to b able to wrap my soul around my mind n giv it wings..... back in uni I'd just sit lookin at a blank piece of paper n start writing wat came to my mind...like some Issac Mendez type shit...now I struggle to do it

-I fig out why though...I'm cut off from my emotions....I can't feel anymore....This hasa also affected my relationship wiv people but most esp my relationship wiv God......Baba G u knw I wanna talk wiv u but wat do I say? Hw do I say it?

-i knw one day soon I'll reconnect wiv my feelings...N I hav dis funi feeling it wil b in church n I wil b cryin my heart out....

-Ok wat is up wiv dis? Devil get behind me!!!!

-I love d people I work wiv...even my ED though he gets on my nerves wiv his energizer bunny thing....

-Blogsville pple r horny....they can like to tempt smeone in2 shaggin...kai.......

-Am @ a crossroad in my life...

-I've bin listenin to too much melanchonic music dese days...either that or angry rock..."Do u mind if I kill u....." That's Within Temptation by d way....

-MI's d best tin to happen to Nigerian music in decades....He writes so deep.......DAMN.....

-I hav two blog wives....Iya Ile (XSN) has a wife(no she's not gay they just say the is married) n Iya Ita (Miz Lowlah) has a hubby (RocNaija)...Twisted init.....

-my queen ur nicotine/morphine or heroin/my delicate heroine/livin is harrowin/inject in2 marrow/in2 my system i'm arrowin/a needle i need u...
Wen i get u in2 my system/i'm twistin I'm turnin/listen am burnin/glisten am yearnin...
This is d best part...... Aaah/my lips upon ur lips/ur hips my fingertips/we kiss n then eclipse......
Mi's talkin abt his addiction to a woman....friggin deep......

-People hav started askin me who my girlfriend/future wife is.....I tell em "if u see her tell her I'm lookin for her too..." Mschewwwwwwww nonsense.....

-There's nifink my wicked lil heart likes hearin beta dan a shaky female voice sayin "U r drivin me crazyyy...." neheehheehehehehe...

-I'm tired of dependin on dis stupid agency's 20k a mnth corper's salary for ny upkeep. I'm therefore open to job offers. Anyone need a gigolo? I giv amazing head......

-Rily rily need to get that shotgun....

-My friends say am polygamus......cos I hav a lot of close female friends......WTF?

-Hung out wit Justina (XSN's wife) in Lag yesterday...I miss skool....

-wil u stop lookin @ me lik dat? Kai u can lik to tempt smeone.....

-I love eyes....I believe they r d windows to d soul....U can show wats on ur mind thru ur eyes...under d rite situations u can also impress dat onto anoda person's mind....

-Hola @ my girl Miss Lowlah n show her some luv!!!!
-Oh I'm a bit empty nw.... whew..........Much beta.......Later people!!!!